My baby girl is getting married in a month from Wednesday..

Up until Saturday I thought I had this parenting thing all figured out. I have raised this girl almost entirely on my own, without her father anyway. Thinking about letting her go out on her own to be her own woman with her own husband breaks my heart into pieces. Reparable pieces albeit, but broken just the same.

I had her on my 18th birthday. She was born with a genetic disorder and has endured 2 open heart surgeries and scoliosis repair. She was in special ed classes her entire life and graduated high school in 2010. We raised her as normal as we possibly could and she wasn’t even aware that she was “mildly mentally retarded” on paper until her last IEP meeting as we planned her future after high school. Life has been full of laughs as you can imagine. It’s what gets us through.

Things around here have been nice. My step daughter is no longer living at our home and we all fair rather well when she comes around, also known as, I dont let her get to me anymore and she knows she doesnt so she doesnt even try.

I had a huge red solo cup of wine and a xanax that day. I had the most difficult time holding it together. I cried all morning long and at several times through the day. It’s turning out to be a lot harder to let her go than I expected. I could be totally drama and say ” I cant handle this” but I know I can. The Lord brought a wonderful man to my daughter and I need to just step back and honor this blessing. It does still scare me though.

She will always be my baby girl, and It’s almost time for me to let her go. I will do it gracefully and with a smile on my face but inside I am kicking and screaming because I am not ready. How could I be ready to let this girl go and grow up?

I don’t know either.

Hello?

Goodness there is so much going on, I dont even know where to start.. Maybe I’ll just start by saying “Hello Xanga”

https://www.facebook.com/Shannon.EBlocker

My son decided to take a step forward in his faith in Jesus and be baptized on Easter Sunday. They asked Mr Shann to help baptise him and I was just nearly in tears. I gave birth to my son and to see his dad give “new life” to him was something that was almost as amazing as when we brought him into this world. Of course I kept cool so I could get it on video for all ya’ll who have been a part of our lives over the years.

4-8-12

We had a very great Ressurrection Sunday. I had an order for “cookie pops” that came out darling

I also had a “treasure chest” cake that about brought me to my breaking point but I finished it.. at 2am

not before I put my fist through it the first attempt though… That felt good.

We also surprised my Dad who is living at a sober living home, at his church on Easter morning at their sunrise service.

 It was awesome to see him, I really miss him even though he’s not been around much. He is doing REALLY well, said he “is happy” and adjusting well. It’s been 2 weeks so he can call now but in 2 more weeks he can come over and chill with us on the weekends, I’m really looking forward to that. Seeing him clean and happy is amazing and makes me weepy just writing about it. It’s been SO long since he’s been well, God is so good!!

With the extra cookies I had sort of messed up on by baking them on wax paper, the kids and I decorated them to take a basket to my sisters house…

I thought the chicks were super cute haha

Ethan being excited for his baptism made these first…

I made the kids(and Mr Shann)  ”edible easter baskets” because I didnt want to buy them new ones that will just get lost in a year.. these they could eat through and throw away.

All in all it was probably one of the best Easters I’ve ever had. I am blessed.

“The Bible isn’t a bunch of teaching with stories thrown in to illustrate the teaching. It is one single story of the unfolding of God’s redemptive plan with teaching included to explain the story. ”

This week has been amazing!!

Tonight is Maundy (holy) Thursday and we will be doin’ it up BAPTIST style with a giant feast with the church family remembering the last supper. That is the one thing I miss about small churches.. We use to share meals often and that time together is awesome. In remembering the last supper through the Word, the pastors also put together a list and we’re all bringing something to eat tonight based on our last names. Luckily I got off desserts and get to bring a side dish. How much easier is it to make a green bean casserole then to put together 100 cupcakes, psh. I’ve been on a cupcake sabbatical this week, it’s been kind of nice. Of course I have one major cake and those cookies for Easter to do and have been prepping them each night so im not TOO overwhelmed.. Sort of fighting a cold that wants to take over my body. Hoping it’s just allergies but Im not an allergic person so much anymore, I just get sick so we’ll see.

Mr Shann is irritable right now. Pray for him. haha

I’m sure it’s not easy to not have a job but MAN we’ve been running like crazy all week, he doesn’t have much time to dwell on it but he sure is snippy. I’m trying, TRYING not to air my grievances online anymore because it just looks like I’m a total complainer but MAN!!! Irritating.. seriously.

Hope everyone is having a nice holy week and taking a moment to thank the Creator for sending us a Saviour.

When your son decides on his own that he wants to make the statement of faith and be baptized on Easter Sunday.

Thank you Jesus!

So the Pharisees were pissed that the people (who would later curse him) and the disciples were praising Jesus and calling Him the Messiah,King and Lord as they entered the city, and told Jesus to have them shut up… Jesus said to them “I tell you if these were silent the very stones would cry out”… Paraphrased of course..

Yesterday when we walked into the sanctuary at church they handed us a piece of palm and a stone with Luke 19:40 on it. Mr Shann did what he knew how with the palm branch and made crosses out of them during the service. He said it “was the only thing he learned in the catholic church” when he was married to his ex wife. I laughed out loud.  We later found out we were suppose to lay them down at the cross in representation of the fact that we honor and serve the King of Kings. Since Mr Shann had altered all of our palms we lay down a palm cross at the wooden cross as a family at the back of the church instead.

This week is Passion Week.
We have services every night except Saturday, the sabbath, in which we’re suppose to rest but everyone knows all the Moms will be working their tails off preparing for resurrection Sunday meals.. I have 2 orders this week. One is a treasure chest in hot pink and black for a little girls birthday and the other are easter egg cookies on sticks for a girl I know. I’m also going to make a few extra and put them in a basket stuck into foam and easter grass as a silly display at my sisters house. I have become such a scrooge when it comes to holy holidays and everything that has NOTHING to do with them(as Christians), but seeing all the adorable things on Pinterest I could NOT resist NOT creating something amazing out of all the ideas I’ve seen. I will post pics for sure!!

Dad is adjusting very well to his rehab program I hear. I am going to the rescue mission today to drop off plastic eggs for their community easter egg hunt and I typed up a letter for him to let him know we’re praying for him. I wont see him this week due to the holiday schedule but I told him I’d meet him at a meeting the following week. Sorta wish he could join us for Easter but I think he has to be there 30 days first. They say he is in good spirits, has a good attitude and is adjusting fine, so that’s cool. I know I havent seen him much but I sure do miss him. I think it’s because I know I cant see him right now.

Saturday I went to a Church reunion from the chruch I first attended with my parents when I was like 4. My sister and I were the only kids at the time and they were just coming out of the 60′s so they were all hippies, all our parents and all loved the Lord. It was amazing to see them all 35 years later!! We sang songs in the same park that we met in all those years ago. It was the ugliest of days but we had a lovely time.

Mr Shann is finally figuring out WHY he is jobless again. Every time he gets laid off, he snags whatever he can get and it ends up not being enough money for us to live on and not stress on. He’s taking serious pay cuts and truth be told, I am busting my ass trying to make ends meet, it is awful. With the wedding in August coming up and our daughter moving out, that will be an additional loss of income as she pays rent. We were talking and I said ” you know, you need to have faith in God to provide our needs while you are looking for a job instead of just taking the first one that will “get us by”.. It might not be right away, but that is where this faith you say you have, has to come in”.. He of course responded ” I never looked at it that way”.. It’s true though!! He says he has faith that God will get us through but then he hurries’ up and takes anything he can get when he is over qualified?? And the job he just lost was to make him permanent today which also meant a pay cut due to the money having to go toward insurance he would now have, I’m like “DUDE!!!! God totally pushed you into the pool so that you could trust He will teach you to swim because you were about to drown and take ME down with you”!!!

God wants so much better for us then just getting by.. I think Mr Shann is starting to figure that out, thank you Jesus!

I saw myself, in my mind, standing on a tall rock in the middle of the desert raising my fist at God.. Pissed off. More than I have been in a very long time. More that I have EVER been now that I think about it.

Why?!

WHY are you doing this to us AGAIN?

What have we done to deserve this?(besides being the pathetic sinners that we are) We have been doing so well!! Sinners still the same but damn it, we’ve been so faithful, more than EVER before!! WHY is this happening AGAIN!?!??!?

Why is it US that has to go through such difficult financial times? We see our friends financially thrive and we’re barely hanging on!! We tithe faithfully and are good stewards of our money and yet here we go again, having to hope people help us.. again??? Having to hope we dont lose our house for sure this time? We still havent recovered from the times in the past this has happened and now we’re doing this again? WHY!!!!!

Why would you do this to us? Why DO you do this to us?

Because I am yours, and you are mine.. It is because you belong to me and because you serve me that I bring this to you. Because I know you will rely on ME and only me to get you through this.. Because you serve me, you CAN endure this. Again and again and again….

My husband lost his job again today. He was laid off because he was working for THE SAME company he was working for this time last year, to the day, and they didnt realize it when they rehired him 6 months ago. They even had him going on permanent status effective April 1. It is against their company policy to rehire any workers and it wasnt until they processed him at corporate that they realized they had rehired him, so they had to let him go.

Idiots?

I think so.

Broken hearted and angry?

Very much so.

I got a collect call at 6am from the twin towers in Los Angeles saying that an inmate, my father, was trying to call us collect. I got online and found his information. He was arrested for 2 felony charges last night, I dont know what they are but his bail is set at 65k and he has court on Tuesday.

My heart is broken and I am SO pissed at him.. I’m just sick of him being stupid. I dont know what is going to happen next. He has 2 other misdemeanor charges in LA county and one up here for the robbery aka shoplifting at the grocery store, all of which he has aculminated in less than 60 days. His truck registration was expired so hopefully they took that because I’m thinking he hasnt hit rock bottom having it. His storage is paid up until the end of the month and truth be told, since I got my grandparents cabinet, I couldnt care less if he loses all his shit in there. Thinking he has material things, an automobile/place to live has given him the idea there is still a chance for him to live on the streets and do drugs at 59 and that is okay.. He needs to be stripped of it all before he “hits rock bottom” as far as Im concerned.

I wish I could stop crying.

Later…

He was processed and is staying in that hell hole Twin Towers at least until he goes to his arraignment on Tuesday for possession of a controlled substance- alcohol charge. His petty theft charge hasnt gone through yet but based on his previous routines I am guessing that he stole the alcohol and was trying to sell it.. He probably got caught by the wrong damn person (for him anyway) and  since he has no license to sell alcohol it makes it “a controlled substance” and a felony to sell it.

Stupid head. =(

As posted on Facebook………..

Hey friends… We found an opportunity for our dad that is so incredibly amazing it almost FEELS too good to be true. But we need your help. We need people to be in prayer with us for his heart to be open and receptive to what is being offered to him. That, if this is the will of the Lord and dad is truly broken and finished with this stupid life of his and ready to get right, that he will be rece…ptive and willing to commit to this.

It is local so we can see him and do life with him still and I think that (along with his unbrokeness at the time) had a lot to do with why he left the dream center last summer. We dont know what else to do and are praying on bended knee he takes this seriously and lets the Lord heal him once and for all. If you believe in the power of prayer and believe that God can heal our dad and bring him to TRUE repentance once and for all could you please take some time tonight to commit to pray for him? We are going to have him “make the call” tomorrow to start the process and we are just hoping that he will be receptive this time if it is in fact Gods will.

We appreciate all of you who have been praying with us through all of this, for your support, your words of advise and your thoughts. It is never easy but as servants of the most high God NOTHING is impossible to him who believes, and my Dad knows Jesus, he is just lost and broken and in need of healing. Thanks in advance.

Rise with a shout, cry out for freedom!

Rise church arise, our God’s alive!

He alone can save us, He will not forsake us!

See Him reign in power, stronger than our failures

He remains forever, our Saviour!

It is officially ringing wedding bells in my world, and as the ceremonious rituals unfold before my eyes and I feel my only daughter grow up in what feels like every blink of my eyes, I also feel a little bit excited for them. I’ll be honest, I do go through my bouts of selfishness and not wanting to let her go, but then I saw the way he looks at her as I took pictures of them for their “Save the date” cards and I realize he is truly a gift from God, one that I would never want her to miss out on… and then my heart sits still again.

A special thanks to @Seedsower for editing the top picture and getting that silly hair out of Jordyn’s eyes. Out of ALL the photos that one was one of my favorites of her except that wild strand of hair. It was really windy last night but we decided to take a chance on getting some shots and ended up pretty happy with them. These will be out in the mail probably next week the second after I pick them up but I was able to snag a screen shot to show ya’ll before hand.

This is the one I put on Facebook just for fun…

Aren’t they cute!!

Their colors are pink and black with a rustic theme as we are doing it outdoors, by a pool, in the desert, at night. If you are a Pinterest freak like I am, you can see some of the MANY ideas on my page HERE . I just love Pinterest. So far everything has been so affordable that I really havent a single worry, and that is good.

Today is their 3 year anniversary and they went out and picked him out his wedding band. I told her NOT to spend too much money on it as she is on a budget and she sends me a text message of his ring finger with a beautiful gold band with a white gold stripe across the front of it and says “Scotts Ring… $900″..   Of course I called her right away and they were BOTH laughing, brats. It’s nice to hear him laugh though, after losing his mom he hasnt been too happy.. then to hear it was HIS idea to prank me made it even better.

It would seem that life does in fact, go on.