April 8, 2013
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Christian Suicide
Over the weekend I had heard about Matthew Warren taking his own life. He is the son of mega church pastor Rick Warren, who truth be told I never really appreciated his ministry when it came to the public, I don’t know why but whatever. I felt sad as anyone would with the thought of someone losing a child to suicide and then knowing that the boy suffered from depression his entire life. Last year we lost a brother at church the same way and it tore me up inside. Having finally been diagnosed bipolar and coming to terms with things I have done in the past and connecting them to the disease of the mind, I understood why these men probably came to the end of their rope and took matters into their own hands. Not that I thought it was acceptable to do so, but I “get” why it happens and I know the place of compassion to be in toward the family or even others who just don’t understand how a “Christian could kill themselves”.
I got caught up on the internet reading comments from people, which was a mistake all by itself, that really made me sick. Comments like “Well if he had just prayed more ” or “If he had asked the Lord to heal him” and “If only he had more faith“, that is the one that stings the most. I really think that having a disease of the mind and being a Christian I have prayed for deliverance more often then not and if I am like anyone else who suffers from depression I am positive they have too. So the idea that these people could suggest otherwise just makes me angry and then sad. Sad because their lack of understanding comes off as a lack of compassion and knowing when people are believers and the have the nerve to ask such questions, I just want to put my fist through their faces(I know, equally Christ like, right).
I don’t understand why the church holds people with mental illness up to some silly standard and is so naïve when someone takes their own life. I mean seriously, you think that kid didn’t beg the Lord for healing before he killed himself?? You honestly don’t think he had faith to move mountains waiting for relief from his mind??? While they cant seem to wrap their head around those ideas I cant seem to wrap mine around theirs and it has been upsetting me since Saturday morning when I saw the crap written on the Christian Post. These people who are suppose to be his sisters and brothers in the Lord who DONT know him, assuming that he didn’t even TRY to seek the Lord totally forgetting that the devil is a liar and the author of confusion. Of course he will seek the weak in mind and bother them until the breaking point, how could they possibly forget that? Our hugest adversary in this life is still out there ruining lives and destroying our world and yet “because he didn’t believe he could be healed” still comes out of their mouths?
If you ever thought such a thing or said such a thing regarding someone in your church who took their own life, I would ask you to reevaluate your thought process. If you think that you have it rough with the day by day struggles, imagine being someone who has little control over their own thoughts, let alone, sanity and has to fight minute by minute to escape them AND THEN has to deal with the daily struggles on top of it, and then ask yourself if you really still believe that Matthew Warren probably just didn’t have enough faith to get through this. The battle of the mind is harder than ANY fight in life I have EVER had to take on and I have come to the conclusion that if I am not healed of it in this life I can look forward to the day I go home to the Lord, at HIS timing, and receive complete healing from all of it. I am thankful to the Lord that I have never given much thought to taking my own life and I have been very fortunate to have been able to overcome obstacles I have gotten myself into on my own, because of the Lord, but without hospitalization or rehabilitation. But not everyone is as fortunate and I would NEVER assume that “they just didn’t have the same faith I did”, and either should anyone else. Especially if you haven’t a CLUE what it’s like to live in an unstable mind.
Comments (5)
I grew up being told that depression was a sin. I really don’t understand why the Christian community (generalizing here) doesn’t understand mental illnesses such as depression or bipolar disorder. It used to upset me so much when I would talk about my depression to someone and they, not only told me I was sinning for feeling that way, but I also should pray harder for God’s forgiveness because I was obviously holding on to some sin. Now, I grew up in a very wacky, reformed evangelical “Christian” cult. They had really strange ideas about everything but the way they treated depressed people or mentally unstable people has always upset me and I didn’t find any better treatment from other Christians even after I left the cult but at least they didn’t believe that depression was in fact a sin itself.
You said everything I have been thinking Shann.
@thegunslingergirl - I’m sorry you had to experience that. My experience was always denial. My grandmother has terrible bipolar disorder and my father suffers from undiagnosed depression that he refuses to treat so because of those two and their “problems” my family always refused to accept my issues. Now that i’m almost 40 (and sober) it has become more and more difficult to maintain without medication.. it also doesn’t matter what they say anymore, it is what it is. I think it is shameful how the church treats people with depression.
@Iloveaholiday - I saw more was said today and just couldnt go read it. It makes me sick the things people say without knowing wtf they are talking about.
You have such a wise insight. It’s is too bad or even worse, it is unthinkable that people who profess to be Christian treat others so poorly.
I’m glad you are blogging again and as always, you have so much to say. I wish you continued success in your daily life and in your baking business. It’s lovely to hear about your daughter and your son. I’m so glad things are working out well for all of you.