My baby girl is getting married in a month from Wednesday..
Up until Saturday I thought I had this parenting thing all figured out. I have raised this girl almost entirely on my own, without her father anyway. Thinking about letting her go out on her own to be her own woman with her own husband breaks my heart into pieces. Reparable pieces albeit, but broken just the same.
I had her on my 18th birthday. She was born with a genetic disorder and has endured 2 open heart surgeries and scoliosis repair. She was in special ed classes her entire life and graduated high school in 2010. We raised her as normal as we possibly could and she wasn’t even aware that she was “mildly mentally retarded” on paper until her last IEP meeting as we planned her future after high school. Life has been full of laughs as you can imagine. It’s what gets us through.
Things around here have been nice. My step daughter is no longer living at our home and we all fair rather well when she comes around, also known as, I dont let her get to me anymore and she knows she doesnt so she doesnt even try.
I had a huge red solo cup of wine and a xanax that day. I had the most difficult time holding it together. I cried all morning long and at several times through the day. It’s turning out to be a lot harder to let her go than I expected. I could be totally drama and say ” I cant handle this” but I know I can. The Lord brought a wonderful man to my daughter and I need to just step back and honor this blessing. It does still scare me though.
She will always be my baby girl, and It’s almost time for me to let her go. I will do it gracefully and with a smile on my face but inside I am kicking and screaming because I am not ready. How could I be ready to let this girl go and grow up?
I don’t know either.
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