I saw myself, in my mind, standing on a tall rock in the middle of the desert raising my fist at God.. Pissed off. More than I have been in a very long time. More that I have EVER been now that I think about it.

Why?!

WHY are you doing this to us AGAIN?

What have we done to deserve this?(besides being the pathetic sinners that we are) We have been doing so well!! Sinners still the same but damn it, we’ve been so faithful, more than EVER before!! WHY is this happening AGAIN!?!??!?

Why is it US that has to go through such difficult financial times? We see our friends financially thrive and we’re barely hanging on!! We tithe faithfully and are good stewards of our money and yet here we go again, having to hope people help us.. again??? Having to hope we dont lose our house for sure this time? We still havent recovered from the times in the past this has happened and now we’re doing this again? WHY!!!!!

Why would you do this to us? Why DO you do this to us?

Because I am yours, and you are mine.. It is because you belong to me and because you serve me that I bring this to you. Because I know you will rely on ME and only me to get you through this.. Because you serve me, you CAN endure this. Again and again and again….

My husband lost his job again today. He was laid off because he was working for THE SAME company he was working for this time last year, to the day, and they didnt realize it when they rehired him 6 months ago. They even had him going on permanent status effective April 1. It is against their company policy to rehire any workers and it wasnt until they processed him at corporate that they realized they had rehired him, so they had to let him go.

Idiots?

I think so.

Broken hearted and angry?

Very much so.

I got a collect call at 6am from the twin towers in Los Angeles saying that an inmate, my father, was trying to call us collect. I got online and found his information. He was arrested for 2 felony charges last night, I dont know what they are but his bail is set at 65k and he has court on Tuesday.

My heart is broken and I am SO pissed at him.. I’m just sick of him being stupid. I dont know what is going to happen next. He has 2 other misdemeanor charges in LA county and one up here for the robbery aka shoplifting at the grocery store, all of which he has aculminated in less than 60 days. His truck registration was expired so hopefully they took that because I’m thinking he hasnt hit rock bottom having it. His storage is paid up until the end of the month and truth be told, since I got my grandparents cabinet, I couldnt care less if he loses all his shit in there. Thinking he has material things, an automobile/place to live has given him the idea there is still a chance for him to live on the streets and do drugs at 59 and that is okay.. He needs to be stripped of it all before he “hits rock bottom” as far as Im concerned.

I wish I could stop crying.

Later…

He was processed and is staying in that hell hole Twin Towers at least until he goes to his arraignment on Tuesday for possession of a controlled substance- alcohol charge. His petty theft charge hasnt gone through yet but based on his previous routines I am guessing that he stole the alcohol and was trying to sell it.. He probably got caught by the wrong damn person (for him anyway) and  since he has no license to sell alcohol it makes it “a controlled substance” and a felony to sell it.

Stupid head. =(

As posted on Facebook………..

Hey friends… We found an opportunity for our dad that is so incredibly amazing it almost FEELS too good to be true. But we need your help. We need people to be in prayer with us for his heart to be open and receptive to what is being offered to him. That, if this is the will of the Lord and dad is truly broken and finished with this stupid life of his and ready to get right, that he will be rece…ptive and willing to commit to this.

It is local so we can see him and do life with him still and I think that (along with his unbrokeness at the time) had a lot to do with why he left the dream center last summer. We dont know what else to do and are praying on bended knee he takes this seriously and lets the Lord heal him once and for all. If you believe in the power of prayer and believe that God can heal our dad and bring him to TRUE repentance once and for all could you please take some time tonight to commit to pray for him? We are going to have him “make the call” tomorrow to start the process and we are just hoping that he will be receptive this time if it is in fact Gods will.

We appreciate all of you who have been praying with us through all of this, for your support, your words of advise and your thoughts. It is never easy but as servants of the most high God NOTHING is impossible to him who believes, and my Dad knows Jesus, he is just lost and broken and in need of healing. Thanks in advance.

Rise with a shout, cry out for freedom!

Rise church arise, our God’s alive!

He alone can save us, He will not forsake us!

See Him reign in power, stronger than our failures

He remains forever, our Saviour!

It is officially ringing wedding bells in my world, and as the ceremonious rituals unfold before my eyes and I feel my only daughter grow up in what feels like every blink of my eyes, I also feel a little bit excited for them. I’ll be honest, I do go through my bouts of selfishness and not wanting to let her go, but then I saw the way he looks at her as I took pictures of them for their “Save the date” cards and I realize he is truly a gift from God, one that I would never want her to miss out on… and then my heart sits still again.

A special thanks to @Seedsower for editing the top picture and getting that silly hair out of Jordyn’s eyes. Out of ALL the photos that one was one of my favorites of her except that wild strand of hair. It was really windy last night but we decided to take a chance on getting some shots and ended up pretty happy with them. These will be out in the mail probably next week the second after I pick them up but I was able to snag a screen shot to show ya’ll before hand.

This is the one I put on Facebook just for fun…

Aren’t they cute!!

Their colors are pink and black with a rustic theme as we are doing it outdoors, by a pool, in the desert, at night. If you are a Pinterest freak like I am, you can see some of the MANY ideas on my page HERE . I just love Pinterest. So far everything has been so affordable that I really havent a single worry, and that is good.

Today is their 3 year anniversary and they went out and picked him out his wedding band. I told her NOT to spend too much money on it as she is on a budget and she sends me a text message of his ring finger with a beautiful gold band with a white gold stripe across the front of it and says “Scotts Ring… $900″..   Of course I called her right away and they were BOTH laughing, brats. It’s nice to hear him laugh though, after losing his mom he hasnt been too happy.. then to hear it was HIS idea to prank me made it even better.

It would seem that life does in fact, go on.

I started to write a complaint about how annoyed I am that after paying my bills I have to figure out how to stretch $89 on fuel and food for a week, but then stopped and deleted it all.. Complaining about it isnt going to change a thing.

Tonight we got free tickets to go see the Ontario Reign play the Utah Grizzleys in ice hockey.. I have never been to ANY sort of ice hockey game, so I’m hoping it will be fun. Our boss is taking us as he got tickets from a customer. I am secretly hoping he will pay for food and drinks because I dont have the funds to do so. haha One can hope cant they? He is driving so that’s nice, especially since gas is crazy expensive right now. I was tempted to ask if we could dodge out of the event but I dont want to have to say why, so I’m just going to go and have a fun time and not worry about anything. Worrying wont change things either and if it comes down to us NEEDING something, I have money in savings.. I’m just coveting it. Maybe that is my problem?

Im glad this week is OVER!!

I am hoping to be able to just chill at home in my pj’s, maybe work on a project I have been thinking about using that giant lightbulb from the office. Maybe clean up my flower planter in front of the house.. Definitely do laundry, oh my gosh.. A Chill weekend. I could use one. Hope yours is a blessed one.